Hi, my name is Bart Simpson and I HATE school!
Skipping it is cool, but if you get caught, your parents are mad.
So I found a way that your teacher doesn't tell your parents!
Just READ and TRY, man! It REALLY WORKS!
Please excuse -your name here- for missing school the past two
days. He/she was suffering from amnesia and forgot to go to
school. He/She is much better now, thank you. Please never
mention this to anyone, as it may trigger a relapse.
Sincerely,
-your parent's signature-
-your name here- injured his/her back carrying me across a
puddle. He/She must not do anything that even sounds like
exercise. Ever. Or we will sue you for everything you've got.
Sincerely,
-your parent's signature-
Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. -your last name here- . I am writing you to
let you know how well -your name here- is doing in my class. We
all think he/she is totally cool and hope seh/he'll never change.
How did she/he learn to whistle like that?
Someday I might write you to tell you how horrible -your name
here- is, but I am a paranoid schizophrenic, so please ignore me
then, or I might kill you.
Sincerely,
-your teacher's signature here-
-your name here- is on an emergency mission, resurfacing my
hairpiece. Do not detain her/him for one second or more, or I
will assign your detention for the rest of the year.
Sincerely,
-your principal's signature here-
These cards are only written for fun, if you use them in real
life, it's on your responsibility!
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