Hey, my name is Bartman and no, I can't tell you
my secret identity.
What I CAN tell you is my bottom 40. The things that bother me most. The things I really
hate.
The things you want to hear...
1. Bullies with mega-strength superpowers
2. Parents who tell their friends aboutyour "cute little costume"
3. School nights
4. Learning the hard way that Man was not meant to fly
5. Sidekicks that can't stay up past nine o'clock
6. Using allowance to pay off anonymous tipsters
7. Forgetting that the mobsters and the mayor drive black limos
8. The fine line between superhero and psycho-vigilante
9. Sliding down the Bartpole in shorts
10. Slick Hollywood types that try to exploit your good name
11. The universe imploding upon itself and restarting again with subtile changes
12. Chronic cowl-head
13. Having homework to do before going out and bustin' heads
14. Sharpening the giant pencil in the Bartcave
15. Police Chief's that only give you 24 hours to crack the case
16. Houseboy's lactose intolerance
17. Contracting TMJ from all that teeth gritting
18. Psychotic villains that don't use deodorant
19. Bartdog's bout with compulsive tail chasing
20. The Bartcave's persistent mildew
21. Maniac Beef Jerky Monsters from Dimension Q
22. Getting caught soliloquizing
23. Cape-burn
24. Defective grappling hooks
25. Curious sisters searching blackmail material
26. Comic book shops that are closed on sunday
27. Self-centered reporters
28. Poorly paved streets and sidewalks
29. Bad guys who don't use old warehouses or castles for hideouts
30. Any use of the word "techno"
31. Senses-shattering adventures not being as senses-shattering as the good old days
32. The obvious merchandising ploy in the "new look" Radioactive Man Adventures
television show.
33. Lax security at the pen where they send costumed super-villains
34. The criminal menace named Sideshow Bob
35. Misjudging the distance between the window and the tree
36. Houseboy's stach of Malibu Stacey comics
37. A lifetime of radiation exposure, yet no cool powers
38. "Intimidating voice" is just not intimidating
39. Being a street fighting man in a town full of sidewalks
40. Taking a bite out of crime and getting it stuck between your teeth
Be cool! Like me, the Bartman...
