SKIPPING SCHOOL

Bart Simpson skipped school a little too often

 

Hi, my name is Bart Simpson and I HATE school! Skipping it is cool, but if you get caught, your parents are mad. So I found a way that your teacher doesn't tell your parents! Just READ and TRY, man! It REALLY WORKS!


THE NEVER FAIL SICK EXCUSE


Please excuse -your name here- for missing school the past two days. He/she was suffering from amnesia and forgot to go to school. He/She is much better now, thank you. Please never mention this to anyone, as it may trigger a relapse.

Sincerely,

-your parent's signature-


THE GET-OUT-OF-GYM ROUTINE


-your name here- injured his/her back carrying me across a puddle. He/She must not do anything that even sounds like exercise. Ever. Or we will sue you for everything you've got.

Sincerely,
-your parent's signature-


THE PERFECT PROGRESS REPORT


Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. -your last name here- . I am writing you to let you know how well -your name here- is doing in my class. We all think he/she is totally cool and hope seh/he'll never change. How did she/he learn to whistle like that?
Someday I might write you to tell you how horrible -your name here- is, but I am a paranoid schizophrenic, so please ignore me then, or I might kill you.

Sincerely,
-your teacher's signature here-


THE ULTIMATE HALL PASS


-your name here- is on an emergency mission, resurfacing my hairpiece. Do not detain her/him for one second or more, or I will assign your detention for the rest of the year.

Sincerely,
-your principal's signature here-


These cards are only written for fun, if you use them in real life, it's on your responsibility!

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