Yo dudes! I am Otto, the coolest bus driver
around. I love heavy metal and gnarly tattoos, but that's not the only thing!
Watch my TOP 40 of COOL STUFF, and you'll know what to give me on my birthday.
1. Garfield
2. The First Amendment
3. Big ol' snarly tattoos of flaming skulls
4. "Stairway to Heaven"
5. Extra-spicy hickory-smoked beef jerky
6. Erich von Daniken's Chariots of the Gods?
7. Festival Seating
8. Susan Dey
9. Baby humans that have been raised by wolves
10. The cool way a busload of kids eating corn nuts smells
11. Super-long, intense guitar riffs played with a wah-wah pedal
12.Bandanas on dogs
13. Tape hiss
14. Totally spacing out and forgetting
15. Space-age neo-psychedelic headbanger music
16. Grinding all four gears going up a killer incline
17. 20-minute drum solos
18. Bizarre conspiracy theories involving the military and U.F.O.'s
19. Foam rubber
20. Letting your freak flag fly
21. Giving the thumbs-up sign to other bus drivers
22. Politically disenfranchised white male suburban hell-raisers
23. The Miranda Decision
24. 42" woofers
25. Poems about the universe
26. Slowing down to rubberneck some roadside disaster
27. Pinball
28. Vinyl records
29. Double-dipped, deep-fat-fried corn dogs
30. Underground comix
31. That totally intense look you get on your face when you're playing
"Wrathchild" on air guitar
32. Passive-aggressive babes of the female persuasion
33. Buzz cola with twice the sugar, twice the caffeine
34. Air fresheners shaped like trees that really smells like trees
35. Mood rings
36. Onion rings
37. The mesh thing you put on the seat that keeps your butt from getting clammy
38. Finding an unopened bag of Cheetos under a bus seat
39. Chain-link fencing
40. "Inna Gadda Da Vida"
That's the way to go man! Now you know all my personal stuff. Hope to catch you later, stranger!
Otto.