Bart the optimist


Hot glue is not hand lotion --> Jan De Volder
I will not compare Myself to God --> Jan De Volder
I was not a member of The Beatles --> Jan De Volder
I will not say I'm Michael Jackson and touch other male classmates --> William D. Hart
Martin does not have EBOLA --> Jan De Volder
I will not strut around naked in the girls' room --> Jan De Volder
I will not put my grampa's dentures on the teacher's desk --> Jan De Volder
I will not eat the pencil sharpener --> Robert Wall
I am not Christopher Columbus --> Robert Wall
Principal Skinner is not gay --> Robert Wall
I will stop e-mailing the president for the FBI is on my tail --> Robert Wall
I am not going to set fire to other students --> Robert Wall
Lunch is for eating --> Robert Wall
Girls are not toys --> anonymous
The lunch lady is not wearing a mask --> anonymous
Principal Skinner does not wear g-strings --> anonymous
Mrs. Krabappel is not a man...or is she (he)? --> anonymous
Martin did not copy off of my test --> anonymous
I can not make blue flames to get out of chemistry --> anonymous
I will not put X-laax in the teacher appreciation cupcakes, and then lock all bathrooms --> anonymous
I will not put urine inside the soap dispensers --> anonymous
Santa's little helper is not an elf --> Margret Boone
Ralph isn't bulletproof --> Gerwin Brabants
Martin doesn't always land on his feet --> Gerwin Brabants
Urine is not soda - Gerwin Brabants
I will not write on the blackboard --> Gerwin Brabants
I am not a member of the F.B.I. --> Gerwin Brabants
Beat up Martin isn't a school project --> Gerwin Brabants
The principal is not gay, no matter what I saw in the bushes --> Jan De Volder
Mrs. Krabappel's nickname is not 'Funky Woman' --> Jan De Volder
Famous people do have a right to privacy --> Jan De Volder
Monica Lewinsky was not my girlfriend until I lost her to the president --> Jan De Volder
"Kosovo" is not the name of a shoot-em-up I saw in the arcade --> Jan De Volder 


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